A Mother’s Pain

I don’t have the intention to write about my life as a mother and expose my children’s ordeal but I feel the urge to do so knowing that I am not alone in this situation. Many children and young people of today are suffering because of absentee fathers, and mothers bear their pain. Writing my heart out may help some of you who are in the same boat with me.

I cried countless days and nights when I discovered my husband’s affair. But that has ended a few years ago when I yielded to the Lord and gave the situation to Him. The Lord comforted me in deep and mysterious ways and led me higher until the wound is healed and the pain is gone. I have forgiven him although our relationship has not been restored. I have no desire to reconcile because the Lord showed me how defiled the marriage bed has become that I could not go back to it anymore. I just can’t.

In spite of my healing as a wife, I am suffering as a mother to my hurting children. Yes, I stopped crying for my husband a few years ago, but I am now crying for my children. What I saw this morning isn’t just a sign that they are adversely affected by their dad’s betrayal. What I saw is the ugly reality that I am in for the big fight for the life of my children as anger and resentment have taken hold of them and they are manifesting more and more as they are growing up. This is the most difficult part, seeing their pain everyday and no matter what I say and do, they just continue to hurt. I know I can never fill the place of their father in their hearts.

My children are achievers and highly gifted, qualities that make parents proud and happy. But they are broken… and there are countless broken children, including some of their classmates and friends, for no fault of their own. My heart goes out to these young people that’s why I will be on my knees for them. I will weep for my children and all the children in the world who are suffering. I know that the Father loves them and cares for them and I want to be an instrument, a channel of His love for them.

To be continued…






2 thoughts on “A Mother’s Pain

  1. David Wilkerson saw a future generation with hatred for their parents. Much of what we are seeing in families today is not just situational, but comes from a growing generational rebellion. However, there is also a revival coming to the remnant of this same generation, Perry Stone speaks of this. Let us pray for revival of the young. Nothing is too hard for the Lord. He may choose to move at any moment in an angry heart. They are not completely lost as long has His Spirit still moves among us! Take heart…there are many promises for the children of His servants!

    • Hi K.R.

      His promises are indeed my comfort. My son is a keyboardist and artist in the church, active in the youth ministry. He reads his Bible and spends quiet time with the Lord. For that, I am truly grateful. But in spite of his devotion and dedication, at 16, he has an unresolved anger which he rightly acknowledged. In our heart to heart talk, I saw that it was indeed born out of pain because of what happened to me and his Dad.

      My daughter, on the other hand, is more difficult to handle at this point because she is a Daddy’s girl and I could see the growing rebellion in her. She’s 12 and unlike my son, she does not easily open her heart to deal with her emotions. But I am not losing hope because I see the Lord at work. I saw that the other night when she related to me how she cried when she prayed although she said she didn’t know exactly what she was crying about. In her young mind she just knows she’s sad and sorry for me and our situation. Hope is not lost especially because the Lord has been using me in the healing and deliverance of many young people in the church. My children are not an isolated case. Most of the young people I ministered to in the church are in similar situation and so my own kids are aware. But the devil is on the lose, out to get the kids by any means so I will be watching and praying fervently for them.

      God willing, I will be writing more on this issue. Thank you so much for the encouragement. God bless.


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