I don’t have the intention to write about my life as a mother and expose my children’s ordeal but I feel the urge to do so knowing that I am not alone in this situation. Many children and young people of today are suffering because of absentee fathers, and mothers bear their pain. Writing my heart out may help some of you who are in the same boat with me.
I cried countless days and nights when I discovered my husband’s affair. But that has ended a few years ago when I yielded to the Lord and gave the situation to Him. The Lord comforted me in deep and mysterious ways and led me higher until the wound is healed and the pain is gone. I have forgiven him although our relationship has not been restored. I have no desire to reconcile because the Lord showed me how defiled the marriage bed has become that I could not go back to it anymore. I just can’t.
In spite of my healing as a wife, I am suffering as a mother to my hurting children. Yes, I stopped crying for my husband a few years ago, but I am now crying for my children. What I saw this morning isn’t just a sign that they are adversely affected by their dad’s betrayal. What I saw is the ugly reality that I am in for the big fight for the life of my children as anger and resentment have taken hold of them and they are manifesting more and more as they are growing up. This is the most difficult part, seeing their pain everyday and no matter what I say and do, they just continue to hurt. I know I can never fill the place of their father in their hearts.
My children are achievers and highly gifted, qualities that make parents proud and happy. But they are broken… and there are countless broken children, including some of their classmates and friends, for no fault of their own. My heart goes out to these young people that’s why I will be on my knees for them. I will weep for my children and all the children in the world who are suffering. I know that the Father loves them and cares for them and I want to be an instrument, a channel of His love for them.
To be continued…