Vision: 3:58 p.m.
I closed my eyes and told myself to be still in the Lord. I recited and meditated, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul…”
While meditating on the Word and focusing my thoughts on the Lord, I drifted into a vision. I saw and heard myself talking to a child, telling her to be quiet and listen. Then I saw the Lord as He held the hands of a little child (I knew that the child was me), looked at her reassuringly, while I heard myself said to the child I spoke to, “Heard the sound of heaven’s bells?” My spirit heard a beautiful sound that I knew was from heaven though I didn’t hear it with my ears.
I snapped awake. Peace flooded my troubled soul.
I have struggled and my mind could not rest as I keep remembering the things I thought I did wrong to someone. All this gift of discernment, seeing beyond and hearing things in the spirit sometimes make me shudder as it did recently. It is especially difficult when the revelation affects someone close to my heart. The spiritual person in me knows the voice of the Spirit and I cannot resist what He shows me and tells me to do. The natural man, however, is resistant and fearful. In this incident I obeyed the Lord and did what the Spirit commanded me to do, that is, to speak of what I saw and heard from the Lord. I have no doubt that I did the right thing. But the natural person remains opposed to what I have done. I struggled and battled with the conflicting thoughts between my spirit and my flesh.
The fearful natural person that I am keeps telling me to hide and quit, stay away from the things of the spirit and go, find a normal life to live. This war within has caused me much strain. The natural seemed to have gotten an upper hand as I kept telling the Lord that it must have been better if I just lived my life quietly with my children; it would have been better if I would not be involved with anybody and let me see anything I have no pleasure of seeing; and yes, I said I’d quit all this prophetic ministry, get out of everybody’s way and move on with no one but the Lord alone.
My mind was in this state of turmoil when the Lord gave me His word, “Peace, be still! Know that I AM God.” It was then that I told myself to be still in the Lord and recited and meditated those verses above from Psalm 23. Such message from the Lord and the vision are His wonderful way of pacifying my troubled heart and mind.
To my dear friend whom I have caused much trouble by the things I saw and shared with, thank you for understanding. I know you have been so affected but I will not be a true friend to you if I kept them to myself. If anything happens to you because I did not tell you those things you are unaware of, I may not be able to forgive myself, and worse, I may indeed quit.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
Love in Yeshua,